Goodbye old friend

A very courageous woman

From Nancy Healey

On New Year’s Day 2026 I lost a very special, exceptionally courageous friend. I met

Linda D. after she had a massive stroke at 72. A stroke is a medical catastrophe that

strikes suddenly, usually without warning. In a stroke, blood supply to the brain is

interrupted or reduced, depriving brain tissue of oxygen and nutrients. For every

minute a stroke goes untreated, a person can lose approximately 1.9 million neurons.

That is why the most important action to be taken is to ensure the patient is rushed to

hospital immediately.

Linda told me the last thing she remembered from the morning of the stroke was

deciding not to have her breakfast bagel at the kitchen bar like usual but walking to

her couch because she felt “different.” The next thing she recalled was waking up in

he hospital days later.

Linda lived alone and was not found on her floor for several days. It was then too late

to begin tests and procedures that could have made the difference between a full

recovery and permanent disability. Linda survived; however, she sustained lasting

impairments that kept her from resuming her normal life and activities. She was

hospitalized for months and was unable to live without 24-7 care from the date of the

stroke. Linda’s much-loved St. Bernard dog stayed with her after the stroke but sadly

did not survive the days without water.

She started her recovery at home with a live-in caregiver, who not only provided the

care she needed but also took her shopping, to the movies, and to local restaurants in

her wheelchair. Linda had frequent visits from numerous friends, which contributed

positively to her adjustment during this transitional phase. Then unbelievably her

home burned to the ground in the Woolsey Fire in November 2018. She lost

everything; the hardest for her to deal with was the loss of her treasured family

Christmas ornament collection accumulated from her childhood. Everyone who knew

her wondered how she could adjust to another major catastrophe.

Linda made it through again. She lived temporarily in a small 6-bed home while

waiting for the opening of the new assisted living home she had chosen. Her new

home was beautiful, but it did not provide the level of care she needed. To make her

situation more challenging, they had a large outbreak of Covid that spread through

the facility. She had COPD so was affected more by Covid than others, necessitating

several trips back and forth to the hospital and the beginning of her time on and off

hospice. It was finally obvious to everyone that she needed to move once again.

This time she moved to a bright front room in a very nice board and care (6-bed)

home. She lived there for more than three years, part of the time on hospice. While

she engaged with other residents whenever possible, they often changed; fortunately,

the care staff stayed consistent throughout. Their interactions with Linda reminded

me of a family’s. Just like anyone else, Linda valued her independence, so she

sometimes voiced her disagreements with the caregivers. Linda’s health was the staff’s

responsibility so there were times when they could not do everything the way she

wanted. I never remember Linda remaining upset even when things didn’t

go her way.

I visited Linda every week, never leaving without wondering how she had remained

remarkably positive. Each year, Buena Vista Hospice and her care staff celebrated her

birthday with a party, despite her protests, with caregivers ensuring that her hair and

makeup were done perfectly. I think I will always remember how much she enjoyed

those parties.

Linda always worried more about her friends than herself. I remember one time she

had just gotten back from a hospital stay and called worried about me. Although I was

experiencing a cold and she had been quite ill, her concern was sincere and heartfelt.

She always remembered my birthday and had a gift for me when I visited. She

somehow managed to have a special gift for me every Christmas. While she was at

home with her caregiver, she would never let me leave without making sure I took

some of the cookies or candy that had been brought to her.

When I shared an issue or concern, she never failed to ask me about it the next time

we were together or sometimes called me to follow up. Several times since she passed

away, I have wished I could call her to celebrate something good or whine about

something not so good. I bet I complained to her about things more than she

complained to me.

Linda’s life after her stroke was always in the hands of other people. Anyone who has

spent several days in a hospital understands how difficult it is to cope with even a brief

loss of independence. She had some very hard days and periods, but she chose humor

and connection with friends to help her through. I believe she continued to find

happiness in the people and moments she loved until the end of her life. At her lovely

celebration of life, I kept thinking how much she would have enjoyed being there with

the good food and sharing laughter with her special friends. It was held several days

before her 82 nd birthday.

I miss you, old friend, and am so glad you were part of my life.